Wednesday, June 27, 2012

No money no honey?

Will a girl leave a guy she loves to get married to a guy who has enough money to support her? Are girls nowadays nothing but gold diggers? That is the question. The answer cannot be generalized for there are many different types of characters and many different situations and scenarios. But we cannot deny that this does not happen and many girls think twice about the type of living style they will have before accepting a guy as their husband and provider. This is not a piece of writing against females, but it is to shed light on what goes on in some of our lives so that we can be able to stop thinking about such things automatically; so that we actually think before we put one thing over another and be satisfied and aware of our decisions. There will also be a piece of writing about males (especially in the Arab world) and the conditions they and their mothers look for in a bride. Don't worry we are all faulty people who can endlessly be critcised. Let us take a few different scenarios, the first two you might find very familiar if you live/d in Arab society:

Scenario #1: Wealth or morals?

The Fayha family has a daughter named Salma. She was brought up in a Muslim atmosphere where she was taught to pray, fast, read Quran…etc. A young man by the name of Tariq came to ask the family for their daughter's hand but was refused because he could not provide their daughter with the same lifestyle she is now living. Tariq, who has strong faith in Allah, told himself that what Allah has written will happen and went on his way. A few weeks later another young man named Basem came to ask to ask the Fayha family for Salma's hand in marriage. Basem is a bank manager with a pretty good salary, an apartment and a car. His morals and faith are a bit rusty though. He occasionally prays the Friday prayer and if he can wake up on time he goes prays the Eid (Muslim holiday) prayer. He does not fast the month of Ramadan because he says that he cannot survive without smoking. Basem does not treat his parents well and keeps threatening to send his dad away to a senior home. The Fayha family welcomed Basem with open arms and urged their daughter to accept him. Salma told him that he is not right for her and that she prefers a faithful man who treats his parents well; for if he does not treat his parents well, shall he treat her well? The family is still pressuring Salma to accept, but shall she?

Scenario #2: Waiting for the college colleague

Safa has graduated from college three years ago with a degree in accounting and is now working in an accounting firm. During her last couple of years at college she met a pleasant young man named Ahmad. He also majored in accounting thus they shared many classes together and graduated in the same year. Ahmad promised Safa that he will come to her family to ask for her hand in marriage as soon as he saves up money for the dowry and marriage expenses. It has now been three years since Ahmad made his promise and he contacted Safa to let her know that he only needs another six months till he can fulfill the promise. During this time Taim, her neighbour, came to ask for her hand. Taim had been working with his father in their family business ever since he was 16. He has bought shares in the family business and has a fully furnished house and is living luxuriously. Safa's family is not pressuring her to accept Taim as they know she has been refusing every guy that comes along. Safa has got tired of waiting for Ahmad and is now considering the idea of accepting her neighbour…

Scenario #3: Do you prefer a boss to a colleague

Yara has been working at a telecommunications company for two years now. When she first began work she was trained by an experienced employee named Faisal. Yara did not know anyone else at her workplace and was very shy. Faisal introduced her to all their colleagues and would invite her to have coffee and lunch with them during their coffee breaks. As Yara began to get to know Faisal more she became aware of his humility, humour, kindness and good character. Faisal also began to notice Yara's beautiful smile, cute laugh, and kind heart. Their attraction was clear to everybody in the workplace and they were quickly classified as an item. When they brought up the subject of marriage, Yara reluctantly told Faisal about her father and his high expectations for his daughter; he wanted her to get married to a man placed high in the career hierarchy. Faisal tried to convince her that he should at least try to ask for her from her father, but she refused and thus he distanced himself from her in the workplace. Muneer, the boss of the firm, realized the separation of the two employees. He himself admired Yara since he first assigned her in the firm. Muneer began purchasing expensive flowers, gifts, and chocolates and leaving them on her desk. After a few weeks he confessed his admiration for her and expressed his intentions to take her as his wife. Yara knows that her father will approve highly of Muneer and his career, but she still has not made up her mind…

Scenario#4: Promised love vs. Promised ring

     Maha is a graduate student furthering her studies in marine biology at a prestigious university. While going to the sea to gather samples for her assignments and research, she met another marine biologist by the name of Ghaith. He works at another university as a lecturer and research assistant. Oh come on, where else other than writing can you find such a perfect match? Two people in love with marine life and engaged in research; they fell in love (with each other this time). They have been going steady for about a year now. When Maha tries to bring up the subject of marriage, Ghaith dismisses any idea of it; saying they are both young and have prosperous futures awaiting them thus they should not sacrifice their dreams by tying the knot and burdening themselves with endless responsibilities. Khalid, one of her colleagues at university, has endlessly spoken to Maha about his readiness for marriage. He wants an educated wife preferably sharing his major as he will be able to converse with her freely without having to repeatedly translate the marine life jargon. Maha suggested that he marries one of their colleagues, and he agreed to the idea. He then confessed to Maha that he would be honored to ask for her hand in marriage, she did not reply. She is still trying to make a decision: should she leave Ghaith who cannot promise her more than love for Khalid who has promised her a ring?