Monday, October 22, 2012

It's not what you say; it's how you say it

The secret of speech and communication lies in how you get your message across; what tone you use, whether your smiling or not…etc. I will not pretend to preach the most efficient communication skills because I, myself, am not a great communicator. Not even a mediocre one to tell the truth. But leaving all that behind, I am trying to work on my poor communication skills, so at least give me a tad bit of credit for that.

Even though I am not at the top of the hierarchy when it comes to communication etiquette, I am still critical towards the ways people choose to communicate. Perhaps because I am sensitive towards the type of speech used especially if it is full of negativity.

Alas, the secret lies in the way we get our messages across. If you want to give somebody positive criticisms which will help them build themselves up, comment on a positive aspect first; do not state a person's weaknesses without approving their strengths. Try to begin with a negative comment first and see what happens. The person you are trying to communicate with will immediately shut off as so not to get anymore negative feedback from you, so metaphorically speaking, you will be talking to a wall.

Always begin with something positive, do not be harsh and try to be kind. As Arabs, we might find it hard to be kind. It is hard to find a kind Arab. Try to put yourself in the place of the person you are speaking with; would you like someone to address you in the same manner? If you are not a kind person and do not care for the feelings of others, then at least take karma into consideration before you speak lowly to a person. You will one day find someone to talk lowly to you.

There are many things we do not know about people. A simile I once heard and loved was: "People are like icebergs; you can only see about 10 percent of them." Take the other 90 percent that you do not know of into consideration when speaking with someone.

If you are a human, you will treat others as humans (and vice versa).