Monday, September 8, 2014

Arab Guys: What do They Want from You?

What do Arab guys want from you as a female? Do they really like you for who you are, or is it your foreign passport that they are fond of? If that is the case, do not expect to see them again after their visa has been arranged.

We shall discuss a few observations seen in Arab society or other societies where Arabs dwell. We will come up with a list of things  an Arab guy might want from you. If he does not want anything on the list, then he might be a keeper.

What do Arab guys want?:

THE FOREIGN PASSPORT: This is seen by many as a symbol of freedom and a new prosperous life ahead of them. If you are an Arab carrying an American passport for example, do not be flattered when you visit your home country and many guys come to ask for your hand; even if you are beautiful, they will not be able to see past the beauty of your passport. You may not mind and accept this man, but do not be surprised after you can no longer find him after his immigration papers are complete.

I am not saying guys with foreign passports are more sincere about marriage proposals, but at least you know it is not your passport they are after. Tip: do not go around flaunting that you have a foreign passport, and learn to speak Arabic when you are in your home country.

It has become very normal to hear : "بدنا وحدة معها جنسيّة" "We want a girl with a nationality." What a great way to look for brides!

Image result for student visa
THE FOREIGN VISA: Even if you just have a temporary visa for studying abroad,working or a visit, you may have some "fans" seeking you out this is why: you have already gone through the process and are a symbol of  success in obtaining status to remain in a foreign country. They know that you can later on apply for a citizenship and it will be easier for you. If they do not find the girl with the passport, they will settle for you as long as you help them with their visa process and as they say "take them with you".

THE JOB: See above for the reasons they might want you if you have a job abroad. Other than obtaining a visa, they will also have hope to find a job abroad where you are working. Which is what they should do, unless they expect you to pay all their expenses (which may be true). The question is are they really searching for a wife, or are they searching for a visa and a job? If it is the latter, wait for them to get a visa and job on their own, and if they have no disappeared by then, that is great.

THE BARBIE DOLL: Many Arab men and their mothers are looking for "good-looking" girls for their "prince charming" sons. I think they want someone who will look good in the wedding photos, but haven't they heard of Photoshop? I think in the year 2014, people are more open to different types of beauty, but in the 90's it was very normal to hear people ask for: "بنت بيضة وشقرة وعيونها ملونّة" "A blonde white girl with colored eyes." Sometimes, they even specified whether they wanted her eyes to be green or blue. Haven't they heard that beggars should not be choosers?

People with the same colors as Barbie are rare in Arab society which is why many guys may settle for an European woman with bleached hair. I wonder if they will ever realize it isn't natural. Oh well.

THE MAID: Many Arab men do not know how to take care of themselves. They will look for someone who can take care of them, cook them hot meals, and clean after them and their children. If you don't mind playing that role, then great, but if you do, make sure your husband can scrub and cook.

THE PAYCHECK: You might ask : "Why would they be interested in our paycheck when they pay the dowry and all the other marriage expenses?" It is most likely because after your husband pays all that he does, he needs to pay off the loans he took to be able to afford marrying you. It is not a problem if both sides agree to supporting the household, but beware of a man who asks you how much you make before he decides to marry you. Also, never lend money to a man who says he needs to sort some things out and promises to come to your door and ask for your hand. Trust me, when he has his money, you will never see him again. Maybe in Los Vegas, but not in your neighborhood.