Saturday, December 6, 2014

Why I am Single




 If you are an Arab, you do not have much choice to stay single for long without people asking you: "Is there a guy in your life?","Are we going to be celebrating for you soon?","Do you have a ring on your finger yet?"...etc.

To answers the questions: of course there are guys in my life; we don't live in a planet of females; yes, you will be celebrating my birthday soon, maybe you should show up if you are so keen on celebrating; yes, I have two rings on my fingers and I bought them myself because I am not waiting for a guy to buy me a ring.

Arabs believe in naseeb (fate), but when it comes to being single, they stop believing in that. It is not fate that you are single; there must be something wrong with you. Be careful they might actually take you to a lab to be dissected.

Since you do not believe in fate, I will give you more convincing reasons to why I am single. If you are not convinced please keep your opinion to yourself.

CONVINCING REASONS WHY I AM SINGLE:

1- My job takes up to 50% of my time during weekdays and up to 20% of my time on weekends.
2- My graduate studies take up 10% of my time on weekdays and 30% of my time on weekend.
3- Going to the gym takes up 5% of my time during weekdays.
4- Housework takes up 15% of my time on weekends and 5% of my time on weekdays.
5- Going out takes out 20% of my weekends.
6- Sleeping, eating, and social media take up the rest of my time.

The numbers are all approximate don't comment telling me they don't add up or that I have extra time.

With my schedule, I am not willing to give up any of my time for 'some guy' who does not:

1- Speak more than one language;
2- Like cats;
3- Have a great sense of humor;
4- Love adventures;
5- Have interesting stories;
6- Empathize with others;
7- Help others;
8- Love people;
9- Value morals over money;
10- Appreciates good food.

I have not found that guy yet, and unless you have, do not ask me the same useless questions over and over again.