Sunday, January 4, 2015

Bint Al-Halal

Before you go on your quest to find bint al-halal (female significant other), I want to make sure you have fair expectations of her. Many Arab men have similar expectations of bint al-halal based on the culture they grew up in; some expectations may be unrealistic and unfair,  thus I want like to disillusion you from what stereotypes you may have about the role of bint al-halal.

It is not the role of bint al-halal to clean up after you; it is enough she will be doing that for your children in the first few years of their lives; do not be an additional child, be the man she married to help and support her raise a family.

Many banat al-halal expect to enjoy life after marriage; do not make their life miserable always trying to make you happy and meeting your never-ending expectations. Give her a break, and if you cannot, just remain a bachelor and leave her to a man who can make her happy.

Many Arab Bachelors travel and go on trips when they are single, but when they finally tie the knot,  they settle down and other than the honeymoon,  they do not travel for fun anymore. They lead boring lives and expect their wives to do the same.

You paid her a dowry for a wife, not a salary for a housekeeper; do your part of the job. Just because in your Arabic book it said 'Umme tatbukh Alta'am =My mother is cooking the food.',  does not mean your wife should be doing it by herself. Even if in your book it said 'Abee yaqra' Alsa7eefa = my dad is reading the newspaper. ' does not give you an excuse to do so whilst your wife is alone working in the kitchen. Why does bint al-halal have to pay the price for the lazy man who wrote your school curriculum?

Your career is not more important than that of bint al-halal. If she has a career, she has a right to be able to give it time and effort as you give your career. She cannot do this if you refuse to do your part around the house and take care of your children and play your role in raising them. Your role is not merely providing your children with clothes, food, a rood over their heads and an education; that is merely providing, not parenting. I am confused: are you an ATM or a parent?

Being a man is not what society depicts. Do not let history repeat itself. The world is full of males; be a man.