Friday, May 26, 2017

What do you Want?

  When meeting people, many of us want to be liked and are neither too sure nor confident that there is a lot to like when it comes to us, so instead of putting ourselves forward, we unintentionally suppress our characters to make us more agreeable with others. This is not a breakthrough discovery, for children are known to be individualistic until they are taught to socialize and to put aside some of their individuality to be able to become more socially acceptable by other children who are different than them but have also been taught to do the same. This might not seem like a major problem when it is the insignificant things we give up to be liked by others, but how far would we go? One day you might change your favorite color to match that of your best friend and after several years, you end up  with no personality or character of your own merely changing and fluctuating according to those who surround you.

We were raised to think that our individuality brings chaos and disruption in the social system and community, and none of us want to disrupt that harmony so we confine ourselves to the social norms that we believe to balance the equilibrium of society. Fearing that we will be outcasts if we do not conform, we begin to trade our individuality for social acceptance. This behavior can clearly be seen in adolescents when you walk into a high school and find students worried about the way they are perceived and are afraid of portraying themselves as they truly are for fear of being bullied and alienated from the others. This behavior does not stop in adolescents but grows with individuals unless they can break from the chains and free their souls. 

Our success, beauty, importance, and status are only a few of the things that society puts its measures for and whether we agree with it or not, this is what we are ranked upon. For example if success equals a high-paying job, society will never consider you a successful person unless you have achieved financial success. How much would you need to have in your bank account to be successful? That is yet another part that is also determined by society in addition to what career path you need to take in order to be successful and have a high status in society. We are not encouraged to follow our passions, but to conform to a rigid system that defines our success or failure in society.

As we become molded into adults with several years of direct and indirect social training, we cease to recognize ourselves and who we have become then we begin the infamous search for our other half who is also a molded adult that does not dare to break social norms. One of you may be more free spirited and comfortable with themselves more than the other who has been an outcast for so long for not being able to follow the rules set up by society. You find yourself afraid of being rejected for who you truly thus try to keep the focus off yourself and on the other person until you begin to realize that your have not represented your character at all and if your significant other likes you it is only because you have become a carbon copy of them.